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爆笑！逗逼医生小明

2016-12-19 李文哲 掌上医讯

逗逼医生爆笑
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爱捣蛋的小明经过无数老师的摧残，终于也考上大学了，而且还是医科大。看看他在医生的道路上又干了哪些蹂躏和被老师蹂躏的事.....温馨提示：前方高能，污到不要不要的，未成年请自行退出，单身狗请在父母陪同下观看!春风不渡玉门关老师上课提问道：谁来解释一下玉门的概念啊？学霸小花踊跃的站起来说：玉门是指未婚女子的阴道外口。出自《脉经》，书中将阴道外口分为三类：“已产女属胞门，未产女属龙门，未嫁女属玉门。”小

爱捣蛋的小明经过无数老师的摧残，终于也考上大学了，而且还是医科大。看看他在医生的道路上又干了哪些蹂躏和被老师蹂躏的事.....

温馨提示：前方高能，污到不要不要的，未成年请自行退出，单身狗请在父母陪同下观看!

春风不渡玉门关

老师上课提问道：谁来解释一下玉门的概念啊？

学霸小花踊跃的站起来说：玉门是指未婚女子的阴道外口。出自《脉经》，书中将阴道外口分为三类：“已产女属胞门，未产女属龙门，未嫁女属玉门。”

小明激动的感叹道：怪不得古人说“春风不渡玉门关”！

老师尴尬的骂道：滚出去！

安能辨我是雌雄

黄老师说：“今天，我们来做一个游戏，用优美的诗句描写中药。比如描写浮萍的：风韶雨秀。春已平分後。陡顿故人疏把酒。闲恁画阑搔首。争须携手踏青。人生几度清明。待得燕慵莺懒，杨花点点浮萍。”

小明：“老师，我想到一个关于雄黄和雌黄的。因为这两种药物都产生于汞床中，而且常常共生。所以我想到了：双黄汞床卧，安能辨我是雌雄？”

“滚出去！”想想自己的老公也姓黄，黄老师几乎脱口骂出。

杂草丛生，望不到鞭

终于大五，小明也去医院实习了。第一个轮转的科室就是泌尿外科，老师想考考小明的无菌观念，就随口提问了：你知道包皮环切术在手术前要做什么准备吗？

小明不假思索的回答道：嘱患者刮净阴毛。

老师满意的点点头，继续追问道：那你知道为什么吗？

只见小明四十五度仰望天空，沉思后说道：莫非是怕杂草丛生，望不到鞭？

老师听得一脸懵逼。

垂死病中惊坐起，夜半还过女墙来

一大早，小花便迷惑的请教老师：昨天看了一个病案，一个胃癌晚期昏迷的病人，突然醒来说想吃最爱吃的牛肉干。家人好开心，都以为他的病好了，可是没过多久就死了。这是为什么啊？

老师一本正经的回答道：临床中有少部分危重病人，偶尔会出现神志忽然清醒或短暂的兴奋，表现为突然想见亲人，或者想进食，文学作品中称之为残灯复明，中医称之为回光返照，西医认为与大量肾上腺素的一过性分泌有关。

一旁的小明听完后恍然大悟：我明白了，怪不得古人说“垂死病中惊坐起，夜半还过女墙来”！

一脸黑线的老师用眼神告诉小明：滚出去。

你也脑梗吗？

时间一长，小明上班也上烦了。所以每次下班都是飞奔而回，那速度不是疾如车驰，而是飞的太低。这不，昨天就差点出事。路过医院停车场拐角时，突然看到一个老大爷，刚要颤颤巍巍的迈出左脚，却又缩了回来。虽然看不到，但他还是敏锐的意识到有车要拐过来，再联想到前几天发生的车祸，吓得小明菊花一紧，差点没拉了。于是他赶紧收回刚要迈出去的左脚，暗自庆幸自己的反应。这时，只听老大爷缓缓的问道：小伙子，你也脑梗了吗？

小明要脱单（一）

一大清早就看到小明更新的一条朋友圈：“好幸福啊！昨晚，对的，就在昨晚！我的一个女病人说她喜欢我，而且还亲了我。好害羞啊！”看到底下好几十条评论，基本都是“握草，好牛逼啊”、“握草，你这是要分分钟脱单了啊”之类的羡慕声。我淡淡的写了一句：儿科转个科而以，装什么王八犊子。

小明要脱单（二）

被我这么一刺激，小明发誓要赶紧脱单。于是他网上撩了个妹子，终于约出来了，一见面妹子就问：你有房吗？小明回答没有。妹子再问：你有车吗？回答没有，妹子转身就要走。看着这么漂亮的妹子就要擦肩而过了，小明赶紧拉住妹子的手说道：我虽然没车没房，但是我手底下管了好几十个人，我叫他们趴下他们都不敢躺着，我叫他们饿着他们连水都不敢喝......还没等小明说完，妹子就羞涩的依偎在小明的怀里娇滴滴的问道：好酷啊！你是哪个公司的老板啊？小明自信的回答道：医生。只见妹子立马起身，只留下一句：滚犊子！最看不惯你们医生，装逼就算了，还特么穷。

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    2016-12-20 榄枷檬

    枯燥之余，娱乐娱乐

    0

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    2016-12-20 妈妈说名字很长就能轻易找到女朋友

    的点点滴滴点点滴滴的

    0

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    2016-12-20 1de9965am30(暂无匿称)

    小明好搞笑

    0

  4. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164338, encodeId=6fe11643388d, content=枯燥之余，娱乐娱乐, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/Pw2csslt7CukWiabqiblnQAXaDEiaxhu025c3P0XshccTrbvGWBjKvnHIxbK3vqa80P7WGIFuicCFet97TicrNKpgB3TdabxP1vMh/0, createdBy=28851960965, createdName=榄枷檬, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 10:27:05 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164311, encodeId=0bc516431135, content=的点点滴滴点点滴滴的, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=62, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mONcle9pic3y0wtVb3TiaGMRTicAPzyz0txsXSt2YBZ5IyUGpmBJdsIIicrOzlBEMXXUcnUPkCldhS2gcCQ0rkL57A/0, createdBy=07221675788, createdName=妈妈说名字很长就能轻易找到女朋友, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:39:16 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164308, encodeId=0141164308d8, content=小明好搞笑, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=53, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuKQeCNia60Gn9bYLZN2VHzXaxJcUpNAgicub7tEUhicKUXZ0hdicaNhQMbiaMKzmRSHFKYxs8H5UrcARp/0, createdBy=e9751708459, createdName=1de9965am30(暂无匿称), createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:37:49 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164288, encodeId=166c16428879, content=哈哈，逗逼小明, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=47, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://thirdwx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/vi_32/DYAIOgq83epTvM9xLJpEmcCNelPYP7RePh91kwNJTfickicUjOp9sHxeGzEetCs85sZ4YibW0VyBKH29Ke4t4Un7A/132, createdBy=c31271693, createdName=王迪2731, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:04:49 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164283, encodeId=a78616428307, content=太搞笑了！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=62, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=d6121628667, createdName=小鸡大师, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:01:59 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164282, encodeId=b041164282af, content=哈哈哈好有趣！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=22, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=d6121628667, createdName=小鸡大师, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:01:46 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164217, encodeId=0ff116421e0d, content=有意思，大笑。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=29, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cdnapi.center.medsci.cn/medsci/head/2017/04/21/72142930668371951a41ef4ea4b233e6.jpg, createdBy=dcbc1715228, createdName=刘煜, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 06:18:22 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164197, encodeId=fa4516419eac, content=好笑。。。。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=20, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/jW482SpianMayicTRbRZ5RzR8ylhYfiaoAUx2BsaYHVia1IKhG3Cg8CT84rBrn6iaVRkyAibJxBcLEXabOQ5p19vWgDe34ib5ErxNgx/0, createdBy=8a701629084, createdName=jihuaijun1112, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 01:35:02 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164175, encodeId=36571641e5d2, content=娱乐放松来了, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=23, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/oLAjfB7s1ib06iaV3D9Tg5K4PNicOvbHfgIficrsEKztlD5yv1UnCFhnFmFU9yv1RHLflMRibWrppbsiccfMB8tT9HCkAr3zL2zVml/0, createdBy=89da1604922, createdName=䖝二, createdTime=Mon Dec 19 23:12:26 CST 2016, time=2016-12-19, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-12-20 王迪2731

    哈哈，逗逼小明

    0

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    2016-12-20 小鸡大师

    太搞笑了！

    0

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    2016-12-20 小鸡大师

    哈哈哈好有趣！

    0

  7. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164338, encodeId=6fe11643388d, content=枯燥之余，娱乐娱乐, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/Pw2csslt7CukWiabqiblnQAXaDEiaxhu025c3P0XshccTrbvGWBjKvnHIxbK3vqa80P7WGIFuicCFet97TicrNKpgB3TdabxP1vMh/0, createdBy=28851960965, createdName=榄枷檬, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 10:27:05 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164311, encodeId=0bc516431135, content=的点点滴滴点点滴滴的, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=62, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mONcle9pic3y0wtVb3TiaGMRTicAPzyz0txsXSt2YBZ5IyUGpmBJdsIIicrOzlBEMXXUcnUPkCldhS2gcCQ0rkL57A/0, createdBy=07221675788, createdName=妈妈说名字很长就能轻易找到女朋友, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:39:16 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164308, encodeId=0141164308d8, content=小明好搞笑, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=53, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuKQeCNia60Gn9bYLZN2VHzXaxJcUpNAgicub7tEUhicKUXZ0hdicaNhQMbiaMKzmRSHFKYxs8H5UrcARp/0, createdBy=e9751708459, createdName=1de9965am30(暂无匿称), createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:37:49 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164288, encodeId=166c16428879, content=哈哈，逗逼小明, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=47, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://thirdwx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/vi_32/DYAIOgq83epTvM9xLJpEmcCNelPYP7RePh91kwNJTfickicUjOp9sHxeGzEetCs85sZ4YibW0VyBKH29Ke4t4Un7A/132, createdBy=c31271693, createdName=王迪2731, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:04:49 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164283, encodeId=a78616428307, content=太搞笑了！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=62, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=d6121628667, createdName=小鸡大师, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:01:59 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164282, encodeId=b041164282af, content=哈哈哈好有趣！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=22, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=d6121628667, createdName=小鸡大师, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:01:46 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164217, encodeId=0ff116421e0d, content=有意思，大笑。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=29, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cdnapi.center.medsci.cn/medsci/head/2017/04/21/72142930668371951a41ef4ea4b233e6.jpg, createdBy=dcbc1715228, createdName=刘煜, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 06:18:22 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164197, encodeId=fa4516419eac, content=好笑。。。。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=20, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/jW482SpianMayicTRbRZ5RzR8ylhYfiaoAUx2BsaYHVia1IKhG3Cg8CT84rBrn6iaVRkyAibJxBcLEXabOQ5p19vWgDe34ib5ErxNgx/0, createdBy=8a701629084, createdName=jihuaijun1112, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 01:35:02 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164175, encodeId=36571641e5d2, content=娱乐放松来了, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=23, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/oLAjfB7s1ib06iaV3D9Tg5K4PNicOvbHfgIficrsEKztlD5yv1UnCFhnFmFU9yv1RHLflMRibWrppbsiccfMB8tT9HCkAr3zL2zVml/0, createdBy=89da1604922, createdName=䖝二, createdTime=Mon Dec 19 23:12:26 CST 2016, time=2016-12-19, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-12-20 刘煜

    有意思，大笑。

    0

  8. [GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164338, encodeId=6fe11643388d, content=枯燥之余，娱乐娱乐, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=50, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/Pw2csslt7CukWiabqiblnQAXaDEiaxhu025c3P0XshccTrbvGWBjKvnHIxbK3vqa80P7WGIFuicCFet97TicrNKpgB3TdabxP1vMh/0, createdBy=28851960965, createdName=榄枷檬, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 10:27:05 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164311, encodeId=0bc516431135, content=的点点滴滴点点滴滴的, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=62, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/mONcle9pic3y0wtVb3TiaGMRTicAPzyz0txsXSt2YBZ5IyUGpmBJdsIIicrOzlBEMXXUcnUPkCldhS2gcCQ0rkL57A/0, createdBy=07221675788, createdName=妈妈说名字很长就能轻易找到女朋友, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:39:16 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164308, encodeId=0141164308d8, content=小明好搞笑, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=53, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/NUyjXTCJjo6KcicAVC1MwuKQeCNia60Gn9bYLZN2VHzXaxJcUpNAgicub7tEUhicKUXZ0hdicaNhQMbiaMKzmRSHFKYxs8H5UrcARp/0, createdBy=e9751708459, createdName=1de9965am30(暂无匿称), createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:37:49 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164288, encodeId=166c16428879, content=哈哈，逗逼小明, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=47, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://thirdwx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/vi_32/DYAIOgq83epTvM9xLJpEmcCNelPYP7RePh91kwNJTfickicUjOp9sHxeGzEetCs85sZ4YibW0VyBKH29Ke4t4Un7A/132, createdBy=c31271693, createdName=王迪2731, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:04:49 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164283, encodeId=a78616428307, content=太搞笑了！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=62, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=d6121628667, createdName=小鸡大师, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:01:59 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164282, encodeId=b041164282af, content=哈哈哈好有趣！, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=22, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=, createdBy=d6121628667, createdName=小鸡大师, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 09:01:46 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164217, encodeId=0ff116421e0d, content=有意思，大笑。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=29, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=http://cdnapi.center.medsci.cn/medsci/head/2017/04/21/72142930668371951a41ef4ea4b233e6.jpg, createdBy=dcbc1715228, createdName=刘煜, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 06:18:22 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164197, encodeId=fa4516419eac, content=好笑。。。。, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=20, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/jW482SpianMayicTRbRZ5RzR8ylhYfiaoAUx2BsaYHVia1IKhG3Cg8CT84rBrn6iaVRkyAibJxBcLEXabOQ5p19vWgDe34ib5ErxNgx/0, createdBy=8a701629084, createdName=jihuaijun1112, createdTime=Tue Dec 20 01:35:02 CST 2016, time=2016-12-20, status=1, ipAttribution=), GetPortalCommentsPageByObjectIdResponse(id=164175, encodeId=36571641e5d2, content=娱乐放松来了, beContent=null, objectType=article, channel=null, level=null, likeNumber=23, replyNumber=0, topicName=null, topicId=null, topicList=[], attachment=null, authenticateStatus=null, createdAvatar=https://wx.qlogo.cn/mmopen/oLAjfB7s1ib06iaV3D9Tg5K4PNicOvbHfgIficrsEKztlD5yv1UnCFhnFmFU9yv1RHLflMRibWrppbsiccfMB8tT9HCkAr3zL2zVml/0, createdBy=89da1604922, createdName=䖝二, createdTime=Mon Dec 19 23:12:26 CST 2016, time=2016-12-19, status=1, ipAttribution=)]
    2016-12-20 jihuaijun1112

    好笑。。。。

    0

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    2016-12-19 䖝二

    娱乐放松来了

    0